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* I. I just. I don’t. What in the actual heck is happening here?…
A lot of people are making fun of this article because of the headline, which is sad because if you don't read the whole article, you'll miss the really, really hilariously stupid stuff. https://t.co/wFWqvuy52C
— Luigi D’Napla is only sort of a fake name (@LuigiDNapla) April 21, 2023
It implies revamping the pension, school, criminal justice and political systems is no harder than telling a line cook to make the cheese "meltier."
— Luigi D’Napla is only sort of a fake name (@LuigiDNapla) April 21, 2023
* And then there’s this one…
The Trib editorial page is has become downright weird. pic.twitter.com/kJlO0LiEmE
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) April 20, 2023
* The Tribune’s editorial page editor is a very talented theater critic. I loved his recent review of “Fat Ham,” which I saw in New York last week a couple of days before I tested positive for COVID and was then forced to spend the rest of the week holed up in a tiny NYC hotel room…
In playwright James Ijames’ eye-popping “Fat Ham,” a malcontent named Juicy, kinda like Hamlet, is chilling in his North Carolina backyard when his recently deceased dad exits the presumptive fires of hell and pops up out of his patio grill.
His message? Put down your books from that correspondence course at University of Phoenix, you lazy kid, and avenge my prison shanking at the hands of my brother. You know, the guy now married to your wild momma and a pit master about to barbecue some ribs right here, maybe even the ones left over from my recent funeral. […]
At no point does this play feel like anything other than a big-fun Broadway show: it’s a smart, fearless and often wildly entertaining 90 minutes, filled with radical ideas and absurdist spectacle. To his credit, Ijames is willing to blow up even his own assertions. You get musical numbers, tableaux, crazy comedic antics and a suite of outsized performances from the likes of the superb Nikki Crawford, making her Broadway debut, like many in this knockout cast. I’d go so far as to say I can’t recall such a well-acted Broadway show with so many first-timers.
* Anyway, perhaps the Tribune should just switch to ChatGPT, which John Amdor tasked with rewriting the McDonald’s editorial to be about Ernie and the Keebler Elves…
When Ernie, the leader of the Keebler Elves, spoke to the Economic Club of Chicago, he shared an enchanting message that we welcomed wholeheartedly. Chicago, he said, was being done in by rampant crime, an unfriendly business climate, and an overly cautious mindset that made it harder to solve its admittedly hard-to-solve problems. “We are playing defense when we need to be playing offense,” he said.
Mayor Lori Lightfoot and some other civic leaders unwisely pushed back against the truth-telling elf. But now that the voters have spoken, sending the Lightfoot administration packing, it’s even more obvious that Ernie was right all along.
You know what else makes it obvious? Ernie’s own leadership style, playing offense at the magical Keebler Elves factory when he could more easily play it safe instead.
As practically everyone on the planet knows, the Keebler Elves are renowned for their cookies and crackers. And nothing — really, nothing — is more important to the elves than maintaining the magic of their brand.
So, hat’s off to Ernie for having the courage to innovate within the factory. In a recent announcement that affects millions of people, the Keebler Elves said they are refining their classic recipes.
The new cookies will be even more delicious, with improved texture and flavor. The elves will experiment with new baking techniques to create the perfect crunch, and ingredients previously served separately will be combined in innovative ways, adding a unique taste sensation. The packaging will be more eco-friendly, showcasing the elves’ commitment to the environment.
These changes will be implemented in stores over the coming year, and, in addition, their famous E.L. Fudge cookies will feature even more scrumptious fudge filling, a secret recipe as celebrated as Coca-Cola’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken’s.
Sounds delightful. But make no mistake: This is a big risk.
The Keebler Elves have tinkered with their recipes before, with mixed results, including some memorable flops. But this is what strong leaders do. They make tough decisions, and they’re willing to experiment with new ways of doing business — as Mayor-elect Brandon Johnson will need to do if he plans to solve the problems Ernie cited.
To stay relevant and successful, the Keebler Elves are doing more than tweaking their recipes. Ernie promised to break up outdated and self-limiting ways of thinking and shift from “legacy mindsets” to “new behaviors.”
Relying on magic alone wouldn’t be enough anymore.
Mayor-elect Johnson, it’s your move.
In his inspiring victory speech, Johnson promised “the politics of old” would not interfere with “building a better, stronger, safer Chicago.” He went on to say, “Today we celebrate the revival and the resurrection of the city of Chicago. It is time for Chicago to come alive. Come alive, Chicago.”
The city can keep trying to achieve that goal with the same stale recipes that haven’t been working, or start playing offense, directly attacking crime, the sluggish business climate, and the cover-your-hindquarters mindset.
The stakes in this city are far greater than a single magical factory producing more delectable cookies and crackers.
But one thing we know for sure: Chicago needs “accelerating” far more than the Keebler Elves. So, Mayor-elect Brandon Johnson, take a page from Ernie’s book and lead Chicago with innovation, courage, and a touch of magic.
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:31 am
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Just plain insanity. Let’s call this on-going, corrosive garbage exactly what it is. Wow.
Comment by Lt Guv Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:35 am
I actually think that Chris Jones is slipping. He has a PhD in theatre and is a musical lover. So where is the music to accompany that love letter to McDonald’s? and an encouragement to the new Mayor. Are we, the Tribune subscribers, not to expect extras for our subscription? Extra content for that editorial would surely be audio and be musical. Come on Chris, put in the work.
Comment by Amalia Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:40 am
Well that’s 2 minutes of my life I want back. I think. I don’t really even know what I read.
Comment by Stormsw7706 Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:41 am
Between this and the “room for god but not Obama” editorial, it feels like the Tribune is going to spend Johnson’s term acting like a British tabloid. We’ll get editorials criticizing his choice of neckties, his soda preferences, and his lack of a pet rabbit. Without an intervention, that editorial page is gonna get a terminal case of Brandon Derangement Syndrome.
Comment by vern Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:43 am
An editorial void of any meaningful content.
Comment by Techie Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:44 am
Sadly I’m not a subscriber so I can’t see this editorial. But that underscores the problem. The only time I find myself wanting to read the Tribune is to satisfy my curiosity of how bad it truly is. But if I just want to laugh, The Onion is still free.
Comment by Pundent Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:45 am
my takeaway from that editorial is that the writer was really, really hungry and at the last minute remembered that he was supposed to write about Brandon Johnson
Comment by The Truth Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:45 am
I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one confused by that editorial. Unless they are making the point that the status quo is not a good business model. Neither is allowing crime to continue to run rampant. So how is improving hamburgers and buns related to tamping down the crime problem in Chicago? Call me completely confused on this linkage.
Comment by Louis G Atsaves Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 11:49 am
It’s perhaps not a coincidence that this ran the morning after 4/20.
Comment by BlueBin Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:03 pm
This is the second item the Trib has run in the editorial section this week that has implied that Lightfoot being ousted as mayor was evidence that progressive candidates and policies have been rejected in the city. The first was a guest column from someone in St Louis arguing that she lost because she’s “soft on crime.” Both made no mention that the person replacing Lightfoot is to her left. But those are just details, I guess.
I made a similar comment to Rich’s about Chris Jones a couple of weeks ago after his (to put it mildly) weird take about Brandon Johnson’s acceptance speech. I haven’t crunched numbers, but it feels like since he took over there’s an average of one editorial per week like this where you feel like he doesn’t understand the difference between a blog entry and an editorial.
Comment by Anon324 Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:03 pm
John Amdor wins, again.
All I can say is McQueary wanted a hurricane… and that hurricane to hurt the people… and the city of Chicago.
At least these are so embarrassingly awful…
“No one was hurt in the writing of this editorial”
You can’t be embarrassed by embracing your inner ineptitude.
But, as I’m reminded, everyone is a critic.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:10 pm
That McDonald’s editorial made me … Grimace
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:22 pm
The Trib’s two-part plan for saving Chicago:
1) Cleansing hurricane
2) Institution of dollar menu
Comment by Big Dipper Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:43 pm
I read that editorial.
And I am less intelligent for it.
Comment by btowntruth from forgottonia Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:45 pm
Michelle…..that needed a ba dum bum tiss.
Comment by btowntruth from forgottonia Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 12:45 pm
I don’t eat McDonalds often and one of the reasons why is because every time I do the food isn’t as good as I remember it being 20 or even 30 years ago.
I think Chicagoans deserve better than a government that serves pink slime.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_Products
Comment by Candy Dogood Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 1:17 pm
BlueBin beat me to it. Seems like the writer was having a literary case of the munchies.
Comment by Anon221 Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 1:29 pm
Grilled onions and more pillowy buns. The solution to all Chicago’s problems.
Comment by Dance Band on the Titanic Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 2:12 pm
===The solution to all Chicago’s problems===
Maybe not all, but close enough. lol
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 2:20 pm
Does Brandon have a Deputy Chief of Staff for Pillowy Buns? Because I would be GREAT
Comment by Soccermom Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 3:14 pm
Great job, John Amdore. But I’m not convinced the original editorial wasn’t ChatGPT generated. “Write us an editorial involving crime, a Chicago business leader, and the Mayor-elect.”
Comment by Ben Tre Friday, Apr 21, 23 @ 3:15 pm