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posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:48 pm
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“Please, don’t make me stand next to Lori Lightfoot”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:54 pm
“So I move into the Governor’s mansion, it’s full of costumes.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:55 pm
“Just a small loan…like $2.9 billion.”
Comment by Anon E Moose Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:55 pm
“No. You misunderstood. I don’t want your job today… when your done with your term… or second term… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:56 pm
“I’ll get you gallons of ice cream, Mr. President, just not Oberweis Ice Cream”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 2:58 pm
“My predecessor is in Florida now too, so I can relate”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:01 pm
So listen, now that you’re sending Rahm to Japan, do you think we can nominate Lori for say, oh, I don’t know, maybe ambassador to Outer Mongolia?
Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:02 pm
Now, a priest and a rabbi ….
Comment by very old soil Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:04 pm
“Right now I watching all the Marvel movies in sequential order, not release order… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:04 pm
“Mike Madigan? Won’t see him no more”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:05 pm
“Trust me, you’ll love Chicago-style pizza.”
Comment by EssentialStateEmployeeFromChatham Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:05 pm
“Now, Amy Jacobson may want to ask you a question… don’t call on her. Trust me. It’ll get weird”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:06 pm
“You tell Durbin thanks for the mess he made of the state party here. Hope it’s been worth it”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:08 pm
“Crystal Lake is great, no doubt, but have you ever been to Oswego…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:10 pm
“Hopefully your advance staff will have identified ‘journalists’ connected to / formerly affiliated with the Illinois Policy Institute / John Tillman.”
Comment by Anyone Remember Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:11 pm
“So I was wondering if you’d get the administration to buy the Thompson Center from us, you guys demolish it, then sell the land back to us for a $1, and we sell the vacant lot. Just think about it… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:13 pm
Scott Gryder isn’t really the future of the GOP.
Comment by Wizard of Oz Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:16 pm
“You heard right, they want a 51st state. They’re just grifters, but for them, grifting pays the bills”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:17 pm
“Well Stanley, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into.”
Comment by Colin O'Scopy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:18 pm
What do you mean I am this fifth ranking billionaire in the party?
Comment by Cannon649 Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:20 pm
You wouldn’t believe it but you could save a bundle if you just remove a few toilets
Comment by Lucky Pierre Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:20 pm
How’s Danny Solis doing?
Comment by Welles Wilder Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:22 pm
Governor Pritzker welcomes America’s second orange President to Illinois.
Comment by Ducky LaMoore Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:24 pm
“I’d trust Mitch McConnell before I’d trust Joe Manchin, but that’s me, I have my own legislative nightmares”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:27 pm
“Look, it’s just outlived its functional usefulness as an office building, but it would make a magnificent indoor waterpark.”
Comment by The Captain Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:28 pm
“….Have you heard the good news about our finances?; we’re only eleventy billion behind on pension payments now…”
Comment by thisjustinagain Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:29 pm
“You do you, but this ketchup on a hot dog thing is a real boondoggle, so I’d stick with ice cream, don’t grab a hot dog”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:29 pm
Where should I look for a beach home on Delaware Bay?
Comment by Suburbanon Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:46 pm
“When you’ve gone back to Scranton, have you ever toured the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:50 pm
“That ‘Friends’ reunion, amirite? David Schwimmer went to Northwestern, right here in Illinois.., “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:52 pm
“All due respect, I know what I said. ‘Put Rahm on a slow boat to China’… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:56 pm
“Sure, we are the ‘Land of Lincoln’ but there are no real Lincoln sites around Crystal Lake, I asked around”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 3:58 pm
“Mr. President…remember Bob Barker? Just sayin’….anyway thanks for visiting our state!”
Comment by Pizza Man Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:05 pm
==“Crystal Lake is great, no doubt, but have you ever been to Oswego…”==
“Would you like to go to Oswego and play some rounds of golf with Tom Cross and Willy?”
Comment by EssentialStateEmployeeFromChatham Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:10 pm
=== “Would you like to go to Oswego and play some rounds of golf with Tom Cross and Willy?===
I’m more likely to play golf with the president or the governor… than with Cross it seems.
They all know where to find me.
“Caption?”
“It’s true, the Bears started in Decatur, Mr. President, but that was some time ago. Arlington Heights is a whole different matter… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:18 pm
“Gotta say, it’s nice not having to check tweets every day, Mr. President”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:24 pm
OW is on a major roll today…thanks for the chuckles!
Comment by Occasional Quipper Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:26 pm
==“It’s true, the Bears started in Decatur, Mr. President, but that was some time ago.==
“That was back when they had ownership that truly cared about winning”
Comment by EssentialStateEmployeeFromChatham Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:27 pm
“Mr. President, maybe you can help me. ‘The Masked Singer’. What is that show all about?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:28 pm
(Tips cap to - Occasional Quipper -)
“Mr. President, you’re so kind, thank you. I do ‘kind of’ have fundraisers, they’re quite successful, but they usually begin and end with an electronic funds transfer and I head off to bed.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:36 pm
“Oh Mr. President, deep dish pizza is for the tourists, let me get you some tavern cut… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 4:44 pm
“I’m quite serious, Mr. President, is there a contingency plan for zombies? I’d like to know if there’s at least a thought to them… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 5:07 pm
Can I be like Springsteen, Olympic daughter?
Comment by Amalia Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 5:21 pm
“So joe, can I call you Joe?”
Oh… OK Mr President
Comment by Bruce( no not him) Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 5:27 pm
There’s some guy on a political blog that keeps saying Governor’s own…..anyway you could get sign an Executive Order that exempts Illinois from that?
Comment by product of the '60's Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 5:39 pm
Laurel and Hardy.
Jokesters Supreme.
Comment by Siwash Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 6:17 pm
“Can you lend me Miz Psaki for a little bit? Just for one little press conference…”
Comment by Give Us Barabbas Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 6:39 pm
“Man oh man, do the Cubs really suck.”
Comment by EssentialStateEmployeeFromChatham Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 7:09 pm
I know you gave us $8 billion but I could use a few more dollars.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Jul 8, 21 @ 9:47 pm
So they put the beef in the sandwich, then the dip the whole thing in au jus, pile on some giardiniera and call it a day. You’ll love it, I have 5 of ‘em a day.
Comment by JolietJake Friday, Jul 9, 21 @ 7:34 am
Whatever you do, don’t put ketchup on your dog at Portillos, you’ll never hear the end of it. Remember - Mustard, Chopped Onions, Sweet Relish, Pickle Spear, Tomato Slices, Sport Peppers, and Celery Salt.
Comment by JolietJake Friday, Jul 9, 21 @ 7:38 am