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* We talked yesterday about the Illinois Policy Institute’s revelation that a large number of people in the tony suburb of Wilmette will pay higher income taxes if voters approve the graduated income tax next year. One Illinois had a bit of fun with the post…
(W)e’ve had the tech monkeys at One Illinois devise the Sense-Us Illinois Income Hair-Splitter (trademark), a hypermegawatt intuitive AI device that breaks down income for various demographic groups, no matter how unlikely.
For instance, an astounding 99.7 percent of people buying a Lamborghini with cash in Illinois will pay more taxes, but just 5.3 percent of those visiting a Lamborghini showroom will pay more.
An amazing 29.8 percent of Chicago Cubs full-season-ticket holders will pay more, but just 3.7 percent of those who bought one single ticket to a White Sox game this year will.
A jaw-dropping 64.8 percent of those picking up a dinner tab at Alinea in Chicago will pay more, but just 0.9 percent of those dining at Marko’s Fish House in Madison will.
A knee-knocking 94.5 percent of those openly identifying as “fat cats” will pay more, but not a single Illinois fat dog will pay any taxes at all — this year or any year.
And a not-at-all-surprising 100 percent of Richard and Elizabeth Uihleins in Lake Forest and John Tillmans who just happen to be chief executive officer at the IPI will pay more if voters endorse a change in the state constitution and a graduated income tax next year.
Which is really what the IPI’s deep dive into residential income is all about.
Ouch.
Any other examples you can think of?
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:26 am
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It appears that Wilmette might be the most educated place in Illinois.
https://tinyurl.com/yyu3u8sh
Comment by Steve Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:36 am
Don’t worry, Fritz Kaegi will offset any income tax hike with a property tax reduction for all those poor souls in Wilmette who have been hard hit by all that nasty flooding on the North Shore the past few years.
Comment by ILL - INI Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:40 am
Very well done. Thanks for sharing it, Rich.
Comment by GA Watcher Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:41 am
Steve, education does not equal intelligence. You especially should understand this.
Comment by SpfdNewb Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:42 am
100% of the reporters at Capitol Fax will pay more. But only 15% of the readers will.
Comment by Been There Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:46 am
Nearly 100% of folks with property *on* the northern Illinois shore of Lake Michigan can see the lake from their house.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:47 am
===It appears that Wilmette might be the most educated place in Illinois.===
No way! People who make that kind of money were able to attend, or afford to send their kids to, college and get professional degrees? Shut the front door!
Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:47 am
A geriatric 98.2 percent of apple-munching politicians will pay more taxes, while only .2 percent of wire-wearing stool pigeons will cough up extra.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:49 am
100% of rich or well-off anti-tax, anti-union right wingers and Illinois Exodus pushers cry crocodile tears about how bad Illinois is, and zero of them truly suffer here (unless like Rauner, they make themselves miserable fighting to cut middle class workers and push workers out of unions).
Comment by Grandson of Man Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:50 am
An astounding 97.7% of people with Arnie Dunkin’s number were able to get a more deserving kid kicked out of placement for a school to get their daughter enrolled instead, but only 0.4% of those people knew that Arnie secretly watches Jeopardy in his Hello Kitty pajamas.
Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:50 am
100.0% of the two people in yesterday’s Lightfoot-Sharkey meeting will pay higher income taxes, but just 1.5% of CPS teachers, support staff and parents will pay more.
Comment by Robert the Bruce Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:50 am
82% of the Winnetka Cocktail Party circuit goers are more concerned about messaging than the impact of things….
I dunno if that’s accurate, but actions in the past pointed to this thinking.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:51 am
===100% of the reporters at Capitol Fax will pay more===
But Oscar will pay the same.
Because he’s a good boy.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:52 am
===82% of the Winnetka Cocktail Party circuit goers are more concerned about messaging than the impact of things….===
Yeah, but only 13% of those people wore white after Labor Day, in complete defiance of all cultural norms and traditions.
Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:52 am
A rotund 100 percent of vest-wearing governors will pay more, while only 3.7 percent of fully-vested pension earners will up their ante.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:57 am
If you took Uihlein’s wealth, and made it pennies, you can put those pennies in a line from his house to the Wisconsin warehouse and still… have pennies left.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:57 am
99% of mccook octopuses will be grilled
Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 10:59 am
100% of living past and present Illinois Governors not named Pat Quinn or Rod Blagojevich will pay more in taxes.
Comment by Jake From Elwood Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:00 am
Pandering to 100% of the 3% in a single town is likely to cause donations to increase for a wealthy group’s piggy back.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:03 am
I bet there are smart, generous Wilmette residents who understand how taxes work. Especially with Lake Michigan lapping up against their million dollar houses.
Comment by Cheryl44 Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:15 am
100% of the 2.1 million Illinois tax filers currently paying $0 will continue to do so.
Comment by Blue Dog Dem Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:15 am
A mind-boggling 99.9% of all taxpayers will pay more after one year due to no inflation indexing, but only 0.0001% of those people drive their Lamborghini’s to Alinea after the Cubs game.
Comment by City Zen Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:18 am
I would pay money to see an episode of Jeopardy in which everyone (including Alex Trebek) was wearing Arne Duncan’s Hello kitty pajamas…
Comment by Soccermom Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:20 am
Zero percent of Scott Waguespack’s will pay more but 100 percent of Scott Waguespack’s will sell out to Lori Lightfoot.
Comment by Waguespacked Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:26 am
Tapas Das Gupta will pay 0% Illinois income tax on the $500k retirement pension.
Comment by Blue Dog Dem Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:33 am
100 percent of those who vote in favor of the graduated income tax and purchase gasoline in Illinois will pay more state tax after July 1, 2019 than they did before. That is why the graduate income tax must be stopped.
Comment by Earnest Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:37 am
100% of Lawn Care companies will see their trailer liscence plate fees go up 500%
Comment by Blue Dog Dem Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:41 am
100% of people who purchased a brand new Mercedes Benz as a third car for a family of three in 2019 will pay more in taxes, while only 4% of people who use the public transit as their primary mode of transportation have ever even heard of the IPI. (fictitious numbers, of course)
Comment by SinkingShip Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:45 am
100 percent of Illinoisans who graduated kindergarten will live in a state with a graduated income tax if this passes. That is why the graduated income tax must be stopped.
Comment by Earnest Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:46 am
100% of people who dock mega yachts on the Chicago shore front will pay more … by only 4% of people who visit the Chicago shore front.
Comment by RNUG Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:49 am
85% of all newspaper owners will print stories and editorials to stop the Fair Tax … but only 10% of their readers will vote against the Fair Tax … according to my latest survey with a sample size of 1.
Comment by RNUG Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:54 am
A peeper-poppin’ 100 percent of Italian villa owners will cough up more cash, while a measly .6 percent of deep dish pizza eaters will feel the bite.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 11:59 am
Using yesterday’s data, 39% of married Wilmette residents will pay more…in contrast with 1% of those who work for the city.
Comment by Jocko Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 12:13 pm
” Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forfty percent of all people know that. ” - Homer Simpson
Comment by ike Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 12:13 pm
An adjective-busting 42% of Capitol Fax commenters take humorous threads way too seriously, but of those - only 3.14% eat lemon meringue pie while sipping pina coladas and wearing Garfield slippers when doing so.
Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 12:20 pm
100% of current Chicago mayors went to the Rauner School of Union Bargaining.
Comment by A Jack Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 12:50 pm
93.8% of all owners of luxury boxes at Soldiers Field will pay more under the tax, 28% of ticket buyers of Bears games will pay more, and Bears kickers will still miss 87% of all game winning field goals.
Comment by G'Kar Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 1:25 pm
100% of Chicagos mayors want the job when they are circulating petitions…..I cant bring myself to finish.
Comment by Blue Dog Dem Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 1:39 pm
100% of the people in my household will not pay more taxes.
However 100% of the people in my household really don’t care about Wilmette.
Comment by Bruce (no not him) Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 2:47 pm
95% of citizens who voted for McSweeney will pay more taxes but only 5% who voted for Madigan will pay the extra money while those on IL pensions will not pay an extra dime!
Comment by Gary from Chicagoland Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 2:57 pm
58% of Chicagoans who call themselves Bears fans but will not go to a game if it is not a box seat that is heated from the cold, will pay higher taxes but only 2% of other Chicagoans that are Bears fans will be paying higher taxes.
Comment by R A T Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 3:39 pm
85% of the people you know don’t care about your problems. The other 15% are glad you have them.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 3:40 pm
Yea, the IPI’s original ‘analysis’ was really that silly.
And I say that, unless there is vastly different language on the ballot than what I am seeing now, I will not vote for it.
IPI needs to sharpen their ‘logic’ tools
Comment by OpentoDiscussion Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 3:44 pm
100% of the owners of the Cubs, Sox, Bulls, Hawks, and Bears will pay more, but only 2% of the Kane County Cougars’ players will pay more.
Comment by Rich Hill Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 3:46 pm
My apologies G’Kar. I did not see your much better post.
Comment by R A T Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 3:49 pm
At least 121.37% of the rich will hire accounts and tax attorneys in attempts to pay -78% taxes, while the rest of us make that check payable to….
Comment by revvedup Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 5:26 pm
Bogus!
===For instance, an astounding 99.7 percent of people buying a Lamborghini with cash in Illinois will pay more taxes,===
Obviously a bogus stat.
If you are buying a Lamborgini with bricks of twenties, you are a money launderer and ain’t paying tax at all.
Comment by Ebenezer Wednesday, Oct 30, 19 @ 5:43 pm