“The doctor says I have a split personality. Then he lays a bill for $82 on me. So I pay him $41 and I says, get the other 41 bucks from the other guy!”
You see, you need to get them to pay into the funeral fund BEFORE they die… I tried it the other way first, and after three years of that, I can tell you, it just doesn’t work as well, trust me.
“This is an exciting day! I had some black pepper on my soft boiled egg today, and dog-gone it, if I didn’t put some of that artificial sweetner in that hot cup of joe this morning! You know, the pink stuff, not the blue - so I’m kinda buzzed with all that caffeine and Sweet’n Low….and I’m all giddy and it could be the instant oatmeal flavor I selected this morning…it was crazy brown sugar and cinnamon…I don’t normally take my oats with so much flavor, but I just couldn’t help myself…am I talking too much? Oh crazy me! I’m just feeling alive!”
It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…
It’s a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…
I’ve always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we’re together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Won’t you please,
Won’t you please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?
- Will County Woman - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 4:15 pm:
What?!?!?! Pat Quinn is willing to accept a 5 month budget?!?!?!
I am just horrified that my cemetery auditors never caught Chicago Burr Oak Cemetery over the last 4 years disintering and piling up hundreds of bodies for profit!!
Hynd: She did? Honest? You mean that I can finally try raising some campaign cash! Gee, what should I be? A cowboy or maybe a fireman? Barack is already President so I can’t be that. Hmmmm? Governor sounds like it could be fun. Do you think that Lisa will change her mind again?
- Santosh - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:26 am:
Let’s put a smile on that face!!!!!
- Deeda - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:33 am:
HEYYYYYYY!!
- Independent - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:33 am:
“The South Side Irish machine is mine, all mine!”
- Levois - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:34 am:
Hey look everybody, I’m Irish! :)
- GKopy - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:36 am:
Al Franken won. Why not me?
- montrose - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:38 am:
See! I’m not boring! Look how big my eyes are! My mouth is open! Wahoo! I’m fun!
- been there - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:39 am:
WOW! GOVERNOR! COOL!
DAD!!! CAN I DO THAT? HUH? HUH?
- Speaking at Will - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:41 am:
Hey! Patrick Fitzgerald! What are you doing here already, I’m not governor yet.
- A Citizen - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:41 am:
Well, first on my list is a bit of Botox and maybe some cosmetic dentistry.
- anon 58 - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:41 am:
theres that kitty everyone was talking about
- Dropper - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:42 am:
I’m so frugal, I only sprung for upper dentures!
- dupage dan - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:44 am:
Jethro Hynes just decided he wants to be a brain surgeon. No, wait, a stock car race driver. No, wait, Governor! That’s it, I want to be the Governor.
- Craig - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:45 am:
Santosh wins for sure right now!
- Yellow Dog - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:49 am:
Comptroller Dan Hynes, Illinois’ Official “Crypt Keeper“
- Princess - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:51 am:
Gomer: Shazam!
- Rob_N - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:51 am:
And that, children, is how you tell a knock-knock joke.
- Scooby - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:55 am:
It’s looks like a reaction from a matinee horror movie on WGN. Is Godzilla loose in the Capitol?
- Bacon - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 11:58 am:
Hey Quinn, Nah,Nah,Nah,Nah…Nah,Nah,Nah,Nah…Hey, Hey, Hey…Good Bye!
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:01 pm:
Comtroller Hynes reacts after accidentally sitting on Gov. Quinn’s veto stamp.
- AGforLife - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:08 pm:
Pinch me I think I’m dreaming
- Cheswick - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:18 pm:
“They call me Dan-O.”
- Quinn The Eskimo - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:18 pm:
A payment? Ha! Try back in six months.
- Smile - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:25 pm:
“I need to be more animated? You mean like this?”
- Old Shepherd - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:29 pm:
I vant to suck your blooood!!!
- Abe's Ghost - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:42 pm:
You put your hat right in
you take your hat right out
you do the hokey pokey
and you turn yourself about.
- wordslinger - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:43 pm:
You can put it on the booooaaadrrrrddddd, yes!
- One of the 35 - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:50 pm:
Comptroller does “Curious George” imitation.
- SouthernIL - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:51 pm:
HOLY COW!!! I believe this is the year! for the Cubs to win the World Series!! Gotta be….I’m thinking of running for Governor!!
- Dznuts - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 12:59 pm:
“Where is that Peterson guy on my staff? I need to tweet something. Get him in here!”
- HoosierDaddy - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:18 pm:
“The doctor says I have a split personality. Then he lays a bill for $82 on me. So I pay him $41 and I says, get the other 41 bucks from the other guy!”
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:33 pm:
“…and their act is called the Aristocrats!”
- anon - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:36 pm:
Hello. My name is Dan Hynes and I’m the Illinois Comptroller. You are currently listening tpo me speak.
- Winner - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:48 pm:
“What? I thought we had already printed the Illinois GAAP Accounting Handbook for the month of July! Get me Taylor right now!”
- Kicker - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:53 pm:
Ouch! Mike Madigan just kicked me!!!
- Taxman - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 1:59 pm:
What do you mean you DONT think I can WIN???
- I. Raymon - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:08 pm:
You see, you need to get them to pay into the funeral fund BEFORE they die… I tried it the other way first, and after three years of that, I can tell you, it just doesn’t work as well, trust me.
- Crystal Clear - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:10 pm:
“Could I interest you in a pre-need funeral plan?”
- Dudeman - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:14 pm:
I write that checks that make the young girls cry. I write the checks, I write the checks…..
- OT - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:23 pm:
“Oh, Danny boy, the polls, the polls are calling. . .”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:31 pm:
“Kroger, your Delta pledge name is..Pinto.”
- Jaded - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:32 pm:
Comptroller Dan Hynes reacts to staff reports that Governor Pat Quinn is holding another press conference.
After the press conference he was overheard asking his senior campaign staff this question; “It can’t really be this easy can it?”
- Blogger2 - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:38 pm:
If this is what the inside of a jail cell looks like, I may rethink this idea of being Governor.
- Will County Woman - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 2:47 pm:
What?!?! Pat Quinn is going to sign the capital bill!?!?!?!
- Third Generation Chicago Native - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 3:17 pm:
How do I veto?
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 3:22 pm:
“This is an exciting day! I had some black pepper on my soft boiled egg today, and dog-gone it, if I didn’t put some of that artificial sweetner in that hot cup of joe this morning! You know, the pink stuff, not the blue - so I’m kinda buzzed with all that caffeine and Sweet’n Low….and I’m all giddy and it could be the instant oatmeal flavor I selected this morning…it was crazy brown sugar and cinnamon…I don’t normally take my oats with so much flavor, but I just couldn’t help myself…am I talking too much? Oh crazy me! I’m just feeling alive!”
- MrJM - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 3:29 pm:
Dan Hynes: Boring Like a Fox!
- Little Lucy - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 4:00 pm:
It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…
It’s a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…
I’ve always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we’re together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Won’t you please,
Won’t you please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?
- Will County Woman - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 4:15 pm:
What?!?!?! Pat Quinn is willing to accept a 5 month budget?!?!?!
- zatoichi - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 4:52 pm:
Sham-wow holds 10 times its weight. Hold on, we’ll double the offer……..
- Amy - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 5:01 pm:
I’m Dan Hynes and I have no power to do anything.
- Anon - Thursday, Jul 9, 09 @ 8:22 pm:
Look, my earring matches my tie!
- anon - Friday, Jul 10, 09 @ 12:05 am:
I am just horrified that my cemetery auditors never caught Chicago Burr Oak Cemetery over the last 4 years disintering and piling up hundreds of bodies for profit!!
- John Doe - Friday, Jul 10, 09 @ 6:37 am:
Hynd: She did? Honest? You mean that I can finally try raising some campaign cash! Gee, what should I be? A cowboy or maybe a fireman? Barack is already President so I can’t be that. Hmmmm? Governor sounds like it could be fun. Do you think that Lisa will change her mind again?