“Then Tony hands me a sack of cash this big, and I’m like, “Woa! Wait a minute dude! What ever happened to those account numbers I gave you? NO cash, remember!”
I’m telling, you, Obama, you’ll never get anywhere in politics with cropped-short hair like that. Look at me! Hair makes the man! It’s a Follicularly valuable thing! Let it grow!
BO: “From the bottom of my heart, Rod, you have my sincere appreciation for all you’ve done for me.”
RB: “Your appreciation means more to me than all the gold in Fort Knox.”
- downhereforyears - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:25 am:
Rod ” Barack you really must believe me, I would never try to sell your senate seat…however I will give it to whomever you want if I can be your choice for Commerce Secretary”
BO -And then in the dream…get this…you top it all by trying to sell my old senate seat. Saying you wanted a cabinet post or something like that. Then there was the arrest and the impeachment process. It ended with Burris of all people flying to D.C. and demanding to be seated as a Senator. Burris! Hilarious…”
- Louis G. Atsaves - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:42 am:
Mr. President, I’m appointing Roland Burris to succeed you!
- midstate moderator - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:43 am:
Rod: Come on - look at me - let me in this conversation - what’s so funny? - please, don’t ignore me - look at me.
BO: balloon over his head - get this guy away from me. He keeps following me around. He’s bleeping clinging. When will I get secret service protection?
BO: Ok, I give up, how puffy do you intend to get your hair helmet!
- Jake from Elwood - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:23 pm:
How many points did you score off of Gin-ool-ee-us? Really? Have you seen my new fetal position stretch? I am thinking of working it into my fitness routine.
“So…you’ll still be Governor, and I’ll be elected President…. Over here in Illinois, the feds are going to finally get you, and over here, I’ll be in DC waiting to be inaugurated having to deal with your mess when I’m supposed to be having the time of my life. It’s going to be a mess, man!”
MRB: You know, what the Feds say was on those tapes what I said about you, that’s just trash talk, you know, heat of the battle stuff…I sincerely value your appreciation and no hard feelings, right?
BHO: The padded walls in your cell need to be at least THIS thick.
“OK, and then I thought, I’ll just do an Elvis impersonation for Harry Reid, they love Elvis out there in Las Vegas. And then it gets better, Roland will play Sammy Davis, Jr., and we’ll have a whole sketch comedy thing going. It will be hilarious!!!!”
i’ve been Rodomized: Five Dollar Footlong - LOL! Hillarious!
- In the Land of Silos and Cows ... - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:08 pm:
BHO “That is too funny. Tell it to me again … so … Fitzgerald contacts you to talk … and you blow him off. Fitzgerald then picks you up on a complaint, and you face a federal judge in a jogging suit…then, they have tapes where you swear like a ‘drunken sailor, and THEN you appoint someone anyway… stop, my side hurts!”
RB “I know, I am a (bleep)in genius.”
- the ole precinct captain - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:24 pm:
Are you kidding me Rod, the supeona’s you have been given are that wide. You’ll make the corruption Hall of Fame with that.
…. and the I will say that I will be selling your seat….
- Larry Mullholland - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:14 pm:
BO: “I am gonna tell em that you are just a guy in the from the (bleepin) neighborhood”…. bbbwwwwaaaa hhaaahaa
- Speaking at Will - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:35 pm:
BHO: (circa 2002)
Rod, I would like you to do an extensive under cover study of the Judicial and Corrections system in Illinois over the next 6 or 8 years. I dont care how you handle it, but get back to me on what you find once your done.
Barack: “You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about!”
- good ol' country boy - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 9:24 pm:
Obama– You see Gov, the feds can take a recorder about this size, and attach it to your phones and record conversations you are having on incoming and outgoing calls.
Rod–Really! Wow…Gosh Barack sure wish I would have known that. I sure would have watched what I said on the phone. Hey you think maybe you could give me one of those pardons?
- good ol' country boy - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 9:28 pm:
Yours is really that beeping big? Gosh mine isn’t….
- Ronnie Gardocki - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 10:05 pm:
You know Rod, that thing with Resko could have cost me the election and now you want a favor? You are truly one of a kind. But seriously, no cabinet position, no pardon and yes, no job for Patty
- AwShucks - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 10:58 am:
Rod! You really are perfect material for Saturday Night Live!! You’re such a joke!!
- Anon14 - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:00 am:
Two years ago I was telling everyone I loved you this much!
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:00 am:
“Ambassador? Cabinet secretary? You want me to get Warren Buffett to do what? Stop it Rod, you’re killing me!”
- mr clean - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:00 am:
hahaha A cabinet position? you want a cabinet position? hahaha!
- HoBoSkillet - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:00 am:
It’s golden I tell ya…. It’s ^insert Gov’s favorite word here^ golden!
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:01 am:
“Then Tony hands me a sack of cash this big, and I’m like, “Woa! Wait a minute dude! What ever happened to those account numbers I gave you? NO cash, remember!”
- been there - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:02 am:
“Ya see, Rod. There’s the U.S. Constitution and there’s the Illinois Constitution and then there are laws and then there are ethics.”
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:03 am:
Rod: “What do you mean funny? What, funny like a clown? I amuse you, I’m here to amuse you? How am I funny? What’s so bleepin funny about me?”
- Rob_N - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:03 am:
Wouldn’t it be funny if I was sworn in as President a week and a half after you get impeached…? Good times.
- S. Illinois - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:03 am:
And we’re stopped there at the curb and this little girl comes up and asks me, “are you Bobby Rush?”
- BandCamp - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:04 am:
RRB: No, really, I think I could be President some day…er…dontcha think?
- Mr. Ethics - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:04 am:
There is an ethics class at UIC tomorrow. I want you to attend.
- Pat Collins - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:04 am:
And the petition for pardon forms are THIS high.
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:06 am:
He like me! He really likes me!!
- Anonymous Coward - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:06 am:
“Gee, how can I word this…. Can I touch your hair?”
- Edward Morgan Blake - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:08 am:
“That’s a hell of an act you got there, what do you call it?” Barack said.
“The Aristocrats!”
- Muskrat - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:12 am:
I’m telling, you, Obama, you’ll never get anywhere in politics with cropped-short hair like that. Look at me! Hair makes the man! It’s a Follicularly valuable thing! Let it grow!
- Ahem - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:14 am:
Blagojevich (muttering): “Barack, stop making that pantomine! There’s a photographer!”
- RJW - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:16 am:
RRB with a nervous laugh: “You’re going to pardon me, right?”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:16 am:
Oh look, a kitty…
- GOP'er - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:21 am:
Sorry Rod, I just washed my hands of this popsicle stand.
- Sarbanharble - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:22 am:
“Rod, I’m not Santa Claus! Now, get off my knee and stop asking me for things.”
- Jim - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:23 am:
Can you believe how many idiots we got to vote for us?
- Anon - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:24 am:
BO: “From the bottom of my heart, Rod, you have my sincere appreciation for all you’ve done for me.”
RB: “Your appreciation means more to me than all the gold in Fort Knox.”
- downhereforyears - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:25 am:
Rod ” Barack you really must believe me, I would never try to sell your senate seat…however I will give it to whomever you want if I can be your choice for Commerce Secretary”
- carbon deforestation - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:27 am:
“Rod, so I said to Emil “All I have to do is give your family members jobs and pay raises and you’ll back me no matter what?”
“All you need to do is help the guy out, and he’ll have your back. I’m telling you Rod, he’s bleeping golden.”
- i've been Rod-omized - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:32 am:
Rod, tell me how this goes again. -Five dollar. Five dollar. Five dollar footlong.
- underdog - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:36 am:
So how was your holiday break?
- the Other Anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:38 am:
Barack Obama (D-President-elect) and Rod Blagojevich (D-Impeachment) compare their testicular virility.
- midstate moderator - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:39 am:
B.O.: So I put the box on his desk and he opens it, only to find a knitted sweater from my mother in law instead of $5,000
R.B.: (under his breath) I bet you would do something like that. Better yet, you’ll probably leave me hanging out to dry in a few months.
- Nero - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:39 am:
“Pardon me… Mr. President-elect.”
- montrose - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:41 am:
BO -And then in the dream…get this…you top it all by trying to sell my old senate seat. Saying you wanted a cabinet post or something like that. Then there was the arrest and the impeachment process. It ended with Burris of all people flying to D.C. and demanding to be seated as a Senator. Burris! Hilarious…”
- Louis G. Atsaves - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:42 am:
Mr. President, I’m appointing Roland Burris to succeed you!
- midstate moderator - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:43 am:
OOPS!!! I dropped your golden parachute.
- Not a Fan - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:47 am:
It was only a little lie. Right Rod?
- Anon - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:49 am:
I can’t belive its you and not me!! It should have been me…Why Why Why
- Anon - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:51 am:
B.O.: Don’t sell yourself short Rod, you’re a tremendous slouch
- Ken in Aurora - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:53 am:
“Don’t worry, Rod - orange jumpsuits are thinning!”
- babs - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:54 am:
Rod: Come on - look at me - let me in this conversation - what’s so funny? - please, don’t ignore me - look at me.
BO: balloon over his head - get this guy away from me. He keeps following me around. He’s bleeping clinging. When will I get secret service protection?
- anon - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:58 am:
Birds of a Feather————-
- jerry - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 11:59 am:
Rewind to 2002…
Rod: “ya know what Barack, one day one of us will be President”
Barack: *laughs*
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:04 pm:
Obama: The state has festavus pole?
Rod: Yeah
Obama: Well I suspect the line of people waiting to tell you how you disappointed them is going to like this x 17 Million
- Dantana - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:04 pm:
You did it wrong. You took a $1,500 check. Too traceable. I just had Tony buy my house.
- Anon - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:06 pm:
B.O. to himself:
Note to self: Get to these events earlier so you don’t have to sit next to the guy that’s on double secret probation!
- Nuance - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:06 pm:
RB - How do you think this smile looks for the future mug shots?
BO - Bleepin Golden.
- David Starrett - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:07 pm:
The fish was only this big, but I fed millions!
- Levois - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:13 pm:
Back when Rod Blagojevich was actually hilarious…
- Anon14 - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:21 pm:
BO: Ok, I give up, how puffy do you intend to get your hair helmet!
- Jake from Elwood - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:23 pm:
How many points did you score off of Gin-ool-ee-us? Really? Have you seen my new fetal position stretch? I am thinking of working it into my fitness routine.
- Amuzing Myself - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:24 pm:
Obama:
“So…you’ll still be Governor, and I’ll be elected President…. Over here in Illinois, the feds are going to finally get you, and over here, I’ll be in DC waiting to be inaugurated having to deal with your mess when I’m supposed to be having the time of my life. It’s going to be a mess, man!”
- Amuzing Myself - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:24 pm:
That should have read “…bleeping mess…”
- SIMPSON'S WRITER - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:32 pm:
Do you believe that they are going to write me in the next episode?
- Macoupin County Kid - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:37 pm:
“I’m serious, they’re locking Ryan up. What a nimrod.”
- cynically anonymous - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:40 pm:
Seriously, I’m telling you - washing dishes is incredibly relaxing. Just don’t talk about it in front of the missus.
- NIEVA - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:41 pm:
And when this is all over I am going to put on my Panama hat a roll a doobie this big!!!
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:52 pm:
MRB: You know, what the Feds say was on those tapes what I said about you, that’s just trash talk, you know, heat of the battle stuff…I sincerely value your appreciation and no hard feelings, right?
BHO: The padded walls in your cell need to be at least THIS thick.
- Mommy - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 12:57 pm:
Its so funny that people believe me when I tell them I had nothing to do with the selling of the senate seat.
- Say WHAT? - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:01 pm:
BO: You see Rod, theres this thing about ethics….
Rod: Yeah, I wrote the book on ethics in state government. You like how I make all those idiots take that ethics test? Pretty cool, huh?
- trafficmatt - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:01 pm:
“OK, and then I thought, I’ll just do an Elvis impersonation for Harry Reid, they love Elvis out there in Las Vegas. And then it gets better, Roland will play Sammy Davis, Jr., and we’ll have a whole sketch comedy thing going. It will be hilarious!!!!”
- Say WHAT? - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:03 pm:
i’ve been Rodomized: Five Dollar Footlong - LOL! Hillarious!
- In the Land of Silos and Cows ... - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:08 pm:
BHO “That is too funny. Tell it to me again … so … Fitzgerald contacts you to talk … and you blow him off. Fitzgerald then picks you up on a complaint, and you face a federal judge in a jogging suit…then, they have tapes where you swear like a ‘drunken sailor, and THEN you appoint someone anyway… stop, my side hurts!”
RB “I know, I am a (bleep)in genius.”
- the ole precinct captain - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:24 pm:
Are you kidding me Rod, the supeona’s you have been given are that wide. You’ll make the corruption Hall of Fame with that.
- J28 - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:29 pm:
BO: Your an idiot. I’m going to make sure they put you in a cell this big.
RB: Your the idiot that’s not enough space for my hair let alone the ego that’s under it.
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:39 pm:
I think he believes me.
- Prison Bound - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:44 pm:
RB: What should I drop in the prison shower first, the soap or my towel?
- sneaker - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 1:59 pm:
RB “So you can get me in the same cell with George - right?”
BO “Are you talking to me?.”
- Anon-13 - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 2:07 pm:
You have to give me more than a *bleeping* five dollar foot long. How about some appreciation?
- Throw me a bone..... - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
And get this….I blame it all on Patti
- Ken - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 2:12 pm:
Pardon Me
- plutocrat03 - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 2:17 pm:
…. and the I will say that I will be selling your seat….
- Larry Mullholland - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:14 pm:
BO: “I am gonna tell em that you are just a guy in the from the (bleepin) neighborhood”…. bbbwwwwaaaa hhaaahaa
- Speaking at Will - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:35 pm:
BHO: (circa 2002)
Rod, I would like you to do an extensive under cover study of the Judicial and Corrections system in Illinois over the next 6 or 8 years. I dont care how you handle it, but get back to me on what you find once your done.
- W Thomas Payne - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:47 pm:
Rod, that mustard stain is NEVER coming out of these pants.
- Desert Dweller - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 3:53 pm:
5….5 dollar….5 dollar foot long.
- Terrence - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 4:00 pm:
Vose’s corndogs are at least this long…
- Eileen Left - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 5:05 pm:
Show me your Obamas!
- Suburban Republican - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 5:14 pm:
Have you seen Oprah lately?
- Ahem - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 5:22 pm:
Barack: “You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That’s what it’s all about!”
Rod: “Oh, look, a camera! Take my picture!”
- DHee - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 5:40 pm:
Jim @ 11:23 can’t be topped.
- Steve - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 6:52 pm:
Remember that place on W. Division street?
- Can't Use My Nickname - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 7:07 pm:
And I asked Rezko for only “this much of his property” by the side of my house……and Rezko gave me a great price.
- jimbo - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 7:33 pm:
Yeah Rod, I really think you should take that ethics test all employees under you take. Oh, and for a change pay attention!
- FLOUNDER - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 8:47 pm:
BUSINESS AS USUAL,AND I HAVE ETHICS YOO!
- Marianne - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 9:04 pm:
I have 2:
1. “Text Me?”
2. “I tried dogmeat, too!”
- good ol' country boy - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 9:24 pm:
Obama– You see Gov, the feds can take a recorder about this size, and attach it to your phones and record conversations you are having on incoming and outgoing calls.
Rod–Really! Wow…Gosh Barack sure wish I would have known that. I sure would have watched what I said on the phone. Hey you think maybe you could give me one of those pardons?
- good ol' country boy - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 9:28 pm:
Yours is really that beeping big? Gosh mine isn’t….
- Ronnie Gardocki - Tuesday, Jan 6, 09 @ 10:05 pm:
2 peas in a pod
- Tom - Wednesday, Jan 7, 09 @ 12:01 am:
You know Rod, that thing with Resko could have cost me the election and now you want a favor? You are truly one of a kind. But seriously, no cabinet position, no pardon and yes, no job for Patty
- Benevolent Dictator - Wednesday, Jan 7, 09 @ 4:57 pm:
BO: It’s easy, Rod, if you look on the map, Chicago is here and Springfield is just down the road here.